A new café has opened down the road from my house. They sell lots of tea and proper homemade cakes and biscuits. The tea comes in a proper little china tea pot with a proper cup and saucer. I can also confirm that the cups and saucers and teapots were made in the proper place for pottery items to be made, which is the same place that I was made, which is
Imagine my horror then, upon looking at the menu and noticing that to buy a cheese and pickle sandwich in said café would cost Five English Pounds. And that is the cheapest sandwich that they sell. Other exceptional rip-offs included the chocolate chip cookies, at £1.30 each, and the English breakfast, which is £8 and does not include a cup of tea. These are not proper prices.
This is very bad. I was all set to make New Café my place to take my notebook and write-in-a-cafe-like-proper-writers-do, but I fear I would choke on their overpriced muffins. Sometimes I think I am never going to be a proper writer.
There were a bunch of proper writers on Radio 4 the other day talking about how important it is for a proper writer to have the proper notebook. One said she spent hours shopping for just the right notebook because, “you just can’t force it”, and another said he has to have a specific type of leather bound notebook from a particular boutique in Paris or he simply can't write a word.
Actually, I don’t think I want to be a proper writer anyway.
Twats.
14 comments:
I have to admit that I love notebooks - but I like them cheap. Perhaps that's a reflection of me??? But I could never write in a leather bound one - It'd have to be really neat and perfect!
So buy a pack of notebooks from Woolies and scribble away.
You are a proper writer - you just haven't realised yet :)
I love big, spiral-backed, lined A4 notebooks. You know you're a proper writer when you find yourself discussing the relative merits/shortcomings of different types of notepads ;-)
For me, the cheaper, the better! I prefer small notebooks that are light enough to carry around in my handbag.
I don't know about this 'proper' writer thing though. You write, so you are a proper writer.
Sorry guys, I'm afraid I'm not the most earnest person in the world and I'm wondering if I didn't convey what I was trying to say too well there...
I was kind of just trying to have a little joke. Maybe try re-reading and replacing some of the 'proper's with 'poncey' and you might get my meaning a little better.
I mean, I obviously have lots of notebooks too. But, I don't understand the need to get all 'proper' about it, they're just notebooks.
Like I said tho, I'm only joshing - whatever makes anyone happy is fine with me ;)
Dont worry julia we hear you loud n clear! radio 4 is a showcase for pompous a nd annoying poncy writers. great post! you are v.brave!!!
Hi Emma Marie, I love hearing writers on R4 most of the time, I just sometimes think that when people get that kind of recognition they can start taking themselves and their writing a tad too seriously.
Nice to get a comment from you again - I thought you'd given up on me!
Heh. I want to be a proper writer, too. I once told my creative writing lecturer (who is a west end playwright for the poncey amongst us, heh) that I want to be a proper writer and he told me I am a proper writer. There is nothing unproper about the way I write; I put pen to paper, therefore I write...so I quickly thought about this and responded with, "I want to be a paid writer." Which I guess is what every would-be writer who dedicates their life to writing wants. Or maybe its just me.
I havent been anywhere your blog wouldnt let me comment! you get paid to write so you must know that youve "got it" Julia? that must be nice. a lot of people would like to be in your postion i think.
Being paid to write is nice and I do feel very lucky to make my living from it - especially the crazy way I stumbled into it with no qualifications or training. But it is just a job really and becomes normal like anything else would.
Right now I'm more interested in creating something I can feel proud of and passionate and excited about. I don't know if I'll ever get to the stage where I'll feel like I've achieved that, but that is what is powering me at the moment... And also making me very skint because I'm not chasing paid work.
For "proper" read "pretentious".
"a specific type of leather bound notebook from a particular boutique in Paris" indeed - pretentious twaddle!
Yeah, keep your head on the correct side of your backside for now.
Many of the most highly regarded persons scraped a living. Think of Marx or the traditional image of the 'impoverished artist'. I'm not saying it's desirable to be poor, merely that quality and wealth do not necessarily go together. Oh and those prices are just downright silly! Get yourself home with a cup of PG and a bun from Sainbury's (or other leading retailer).
The last time I lived in the UK a fiver was the weekly wage for a paperboy - up at 5am, 7 days a week. I know, because I was doing it.
Hope the cafe goes broke and a more sensibly priced one takes its place.
By the way, a cup of coffee in a caff here in Australia is about $2.80, which translates to one pound. For the non-vegetarians good fillet steak is around $20 a kilo from the supermarket, which works out to 8 pounds.
All of which makes the English Breakfast you mentioned sound even more exhorbitant. Those are five-star hotel prices here.
Nice increase in your Nano count, by the way. I toiled on for an extra 200 words yesterday, but you must have done really well.
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