Baby Jesus is making me eat beanburgers

I went into Iceland earlier planning on getting myself a lovely vegetarian shepherd’s pie for my lunch. But the freezer where the veggie stuff normally is was full of mini sausage rolls, vol-au-vents, samosas, and the like.

Eventually I found a couple of bags of Quorn and the odd box of beanburgers secreted in the darkest, remotest corner of the shop. But most of my veggie favourites were missing.

“Is this all the vegetarian stuff you’ve got now?” I asked the man stocking the next freezer.

“Yeah, we had to cut it down because of the Christmas stock.”

“What, so is Christmas cancelled for vegetarians this year?”

“No.” (Phew.) “It’s just that we don’t have room for everything.”

“You still seem to have a lot of ice-cream though, surely people don’t buy as much of that in the winter?”

“You’d be surprised.” He coupled his answer with the wise and sagacious nod of someone who knows his frozen foodstuffs and the level of consumer demand thereof.

So I want all you ice-cream scoffing omnivores out there to know that, from now until the end of the festive period, I am going to have to live on beanburgers so that you don’t have to miss out on your Softscoop Neapolitan. Any unpleasant gasses released by me during the yuletide celebrations this year will be entirely your fault…

Um, I’d just like to explain that, in the above paragraph, I was trying to make a joke about the fact that beanburgers give me farts. Sorry if you thought I was threatening to do gas warfare on you or anything like that. I am not that cross about it. Actually I really like beanburgers.

Not sure how well they’re going to go with cranberry sauce and sprouts though.

Tags: vegetarian, veggie, vegetarian food, christmas, iceland, shopping, beanburgers, food, veggie christmas, iceland frozen foods