When I was kid the old people’s uniform was a baggy suit with braces, or patterned dress perhaps with a nice cardigan, topped with a hat, and finished with a well-cared-for pair of shiny shoes. Nowadays you see crusties shuffling around in jeans or tracksuits and trainers. The other day I saw a bloke, who must have been eighty if he was a day, wearing a baseball cap of all things. I was really rather worried he was going to mug me for my iPod.
And another thing. In the good old days, old people didn’t expect to have fun on tap like the silver surfing, world travelling, marathon running codgers of today. They had bingo or crosswords and they were glad of it.
And another thing. Old people didn’t go around popping recreational drugs and having it off left right and centre in my day either. That bloody Viagra has a lot to answer for you if you ask me. They’re all into computer dating and singles nights and all sorts now you know. Back in the day, old people had the occasional sherry and shuffle-around at a community
centre tea dance and they were glad of it.
And another thing. In the old days when everything was loads better than it is now, old people used to die. That is what you are supposed to do when you are old. Try telling the old people of today that. Here is a story of a man aged 90 who ran a marathon. And this is a 74-year-old body builder. This woman climbed
They’re living till over 100, some of them, you know. And they still don’t know they’re born.
I don’t know what the world is coming to, I really don’t. Old people nowadays. Tsk.
*Newsfloss 19th January*
And if you don't belive me you can ask Seth.
17 comments:
Oh I agree about the constant slagging of the youth.
I've met some youth - there are four living next door, with a couple of adults to keep them company. They really are quite nice people. Imran looks after our hens when we're away, Faisal is learning to drive, and has a nice collection of bling rings.
I can't help thinking that when you use the words problem and youth in the same sentence it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.
Old people - hmmm. I saw one pissing in her own garden the other day. I suppose she wasn't, technically, urinating in public - but imagine the hullabaloo if she had been a youth. (A youth pissing, I mean. Obviously has been a youth at some time in her life, but I was just referring to that occasion.)
I'll go now.
If I get old I think I'd like to go and join an old person's choir like 'Young @ Heart' That looks like good fun. I've got terrible nerves now but by then that might have changed.
Old people are the safest ones on safari. The predators won't touch them because their skin is too wrinkly. They also carry walking sticks, which scares the shit out of the lions. Old people having sex is a waste of energy. They should learn a good trade, like witch-doctoring. My ancestor sold a monkey skin to that Gagool.
Damian: That really is very deviant. I saw another deliqent oldy doing graphitti the other day. He was painting '19' on the door of number 19 Nearby Street, where he probably lives. That is obviously his tag name, or something.
Yorksdevil: Goodness knows what old people will be getting up to by the time you're that age. Naked drug-fuelled, rock n roll, extremem skateboarding, I expect. Definitely.
Gorilla bananas: I think the lions are wise to give them a wide birth. My Grandparents told me the other day that they have had a lion every day since they retired. (Or did they say lie-in...?)
Oh my, Julia. Old people having sex? In England? Can I emigrate from Canada?
Glad I found your blog, thanks for leaving a comment in mine so I could get here. I'll be back!
Voyager.
Old people - they seem to fall into two very distinct categories.
a) The Crumblies - the ones you have to listen to on the peasant wagon smelling of lime water and covered in cat hairs and complaining how the bus fair on their OAP discount has gone up 7p. We tend to pretend we can't hear their tutting or general disdain at all things post 1940's.
b) The Kindleys - the ones who ask yo how you are, spark up random conversation, are a little ditzy and have a cute lil habit of walking around Tesco blissfully unaware they forgot to but their skirt on. High 'Awwww' factor.
and another thing ,,cant remember
oh yes no its gone
Voyager: Not only sex, but kissing too. I have witnessed it. (The kissing, not the sex.)
Wings: Peasant Wagon! Haven't heard that in a ages! Biggup Stokie slang!
Anonymous: That's alright dear, take your time...
Worst of all, some even have blogs. But weren't you 30 yourself just recently, Julia?
Oucha!
If you think the crumblies of today are bad, wait until you see the next set. All the same flaws, but on webcams.
I agree, not all young people are bad, there are some horrible oldies too. My elderly neighbour from hell is proof of that.
Dear God Simon - the thought sends chills up my spine :| Especially now my Mum has aquired one from my sister for Christmas.
*Shudder*
My father is 91 years young. If it wasn't for his dodgy leg,. he'd be tripping the light fantastic or is it fandango?
"That bloody Viagra has a lot to answer for you if you ask me."
A pensioner goes to visit her frail, elderly father in the nursing home, and while she's there the orderly dispenses a handful of pills. Amongst them she sees a familiar blue shape.
"You there, why are you giving my father Viagra? Surely he's well past that sort of nonsense?"
"Indeed ma'am. However, it does stop them rolling out of bed in the night."
God knows how long we will all live to be!! I can imagine myself at 102 skateboarding down the road with purple hair firing a waterpistol at horrible young kids!!! Happy birthday to my gran who turned 97 on 20th Jan - she will never read this as she would not know about the internet, let along blogging. We reckon she will make 100. Hope you had a good birthday Julia - 30 is very young. I am 30 and hardly feel grown up at all.
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