I went to Tate Modern the other day. Tate Modern is the funniest place in all of London. It’s full of people who stand around starring at miscellaneous objects trying to look cool and arty and clever.
My favourite thing was a yellow toilet. It was a yellow toilet. You’ve got to hand it to these artists, haven’t you? A toilet. That is yellow. Only a true genius could envisage such a world. Nice one arto.
All the Cool-Arty-Clevers (CACs) were standing around contemplating it. They did this for a very long time.
It must be ace being one of those Modern artos - whatever you put in Tate Modern, the CACs will come in and stare at it for ages. No wonder the artos chose stuff like big poos and yellow bogs. That’s what I would do too. Just think what a laugh they must have coming up with hilarious stuff for the CACs to come gawp at.
I am not a Tate artist, so am probably not very good at this, but I think I would put some cat sick or some smoker’s phlegm in there. Not as good as the yellow toilet, I know, but not bad for first try, I reckon.
What would your Tate Modern exhibit be?
Friday, August 03, 2007
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17 comments:
A giant booger.
I hate whats in the Tate Modern.
If I was to put something in there it would probably be a video of me typing this.
Mine would be two and a half packets of smarties in a mitten hidden within a block of cement.
Crap.
:-)
A baseball bat, a pillow, a sign reading "please put your head on the pillow" and a pillar for me to hide behind.
Gits.
A video installation of people standing aroung in Tate Modern looking clever and arty looking at a video of people looking clever and arty. It would be a bit like a TV screen in a TV screen in a TV screen in a...
By the way, have a good hack for me and get well soon.
I once thought of writing to the Director of Tate Modern suggesting he display a new work of mine. It would be the contents of my wheelie bin tipped out onto the floor of the gallery. It would be called a Load of Rubbish.
For those interested, there’s some discussion of this sort of thing here.
Julia, I think your suggestions are too small in scale. I think things a bit larger tend to go down better.
My current one would be entitled 'Dog Poo Wrapped in Newspaper in a Bin'. It would be an almost entirely olfactory experience.
But I actually love the Tate Modern. Please don't hit me over the head with a baseball bat, pillow or no pillow...
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Well, I've been known to be a bit of a CAC in my time - but I confess, standing in the Tate Modern last November I had a few moments when I was "and this is supposed to be what?" I'm afraid there is cool arty and utterly stupid arty and sometimes it's a fine line. Tate Modern does itself (and art) a disservice when it tries to get too smart and arty farty.
Hi Julia, interesting post which made me write about it on my blog today. Tried to set up a track back, but no luck so far. Blogger need pesky code added which is a real pain!
Cheers
Larry
But you have to learn the correct postures to adopt while looking at art in the Tate Modern. My favourite is the "take one step back, tilt head slightly to one side" pose. This makes you look particularly intelligent and arty indeed.
An unpaid parking ticket. Or maybe a tricycle with only two wheels (don't call it a bicycle).
It is ironic that you're taking issue with the Yellow Toilet being in the Tate.
It's purpose is their to support people with opinions like yours but its meaning seems to be lost on you since you don't seem to be making any deep references about it. Only to knock it down instead.
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